Geek on Film: Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow

If there's anything I like more than zombies, it's giant robots capable of mass destruction. And if there's anything I like more than giant robots capable of mass destruction, then it's giant robots capable of mass destruction destroying things. In mass quantities. WOO!

But enough about me. Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow, henceforth Sky Captain so that my wrists don't burst into flames before I finish this review, is, of course, a movie featuring giant robots of mass destruction, and Jude Law.

Watching the trailer (so very very many times -- dear Hollywood: please stop pushing release dates back, thanks) it seemed to me fairly likely that Sky Captain was sadly going to be one of those (ever more frequent) movies that drowns in it's own hype. I kept hearing things like, "it looks like the Rocketeer meets Star Wars!" or "if Indiana Jones and Star Wars had a baby, it would be this film!". Alright, a) who saw the Rocketeer anyway, and b) movies can't have babies. And also c) Star Wars?! [insert terribly witty joke re: Gywenth Paltrow and Chewbacca here.] There we go.

It was also bound to have problems because in this modern movie age, we are used to film makers trying to make things seem as real as possible. We have been spoiled by movies like the Lord of the Rings, in which characters like Gollum became so belivable that you stopped thinking, "wow, what an amazing advance in technology" and were able to spend your time instead thinking, "wow, his eyes are almost as big as Elijah Wood's". In the 60s when the original Batman movie starring Adam West was released, that foam-rubber shark was COOL. The Penguin's submarine was AWESOME. Or, at the very least, people were willing to make a little more effort to believe in these things, so they filled in the blanks. In this day in age, bitter and jaded as we are, we will happily snort at anything that doesn't seem flawless. So when they stick a fishbowl on Angelina Jolie's head, dunk her underwater and try to tell us it's cool, a lot of people aren't going to get on board for that. Which is really sad, because if they could, they'd end up with a pretty enjoyable movie experience.

Sky Captain is great for a lot of reasons. It's fun to watch a movie that you know, unconditionally, will end with the good guy smiling at the camera, CG sparkle added to his smile, girl of his dreams on his arm, and the world safe once again. This is especially fun because this means that they can put our dashing hero into all sorts of unlikely situations, and we will accept pretty much whatever solution comes along, because we know how the film has to end. This may sound terrible, but it's actually really refreshing. It's really like watching the original Batman. Running out of air? Get out that container of Bat-Oxygen, Robin! No way past the evil robot sentinels? Use that ray-gun-of-death Dex inexplicably started the movie with, and never explains, Sky Captain! Hurrah! Sky Captain wins again!

But there's also a downside to this. The girl of Cap's dreams is inevitably obnoxious, and ends up doing remarkably stupid things, which never seem to work out as they should. If she stands in the middle of the street trying to get a photograph of the giant robots menacing the city, logic would dictate that she be crushed by these giant robots as penance for unforgivable stupidity. No such luck. As such, I suggest you steer impressionable children away from this movie -- I wouldn't want my cousins thinking they can get away from such situations unscathed. Remember kids: stupidity + giant robots = SQUISHY DEATH.

It's also worth mention (though everyone knows) that the entire movie was done against a blue screen. I mention this not because you can tell, but because you will probably spend half the movie trying to see if you can tell. To my fairly untrained eye, though, everything looked really spectacular. The washed-out colours and the soft focus really captured the mood of the era. Of course (if IMDB trivia is right, that is), the entire thing was done with Adobe After Effects, and, having sold my soul to Adobe, I am required to say such things.

All in all, Sky Captain is excellent for what it is. It was perfectly cast -- none of the actors takes themselves too seriously, so the illusion of the film remains intact throughout, amdist evil robots, a very large rocket ship, Sir Laurence Olivier's giant floating head, and what ends up being a very very silly (but enjoyably so) plot. If you go in expecting the lovechild of Indiana Jones and Star Wars you likely be disappointed, but if you're prepared for the camp (and prepared to give in to the camp) you will thoroughly enjoy it.

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All right, so that was the end of the review. You've no obligation to read any further. But as a fan of movies, and as the daughter of an aviation enthusiast (to put it mildly), there are a few things I feel I must say, or I may have an aneurism.

At a certain point during the film, the part of Sky Captain's plane that controls ascension and descension becomes jammed. Cap is then heard to proclaim, "I can't pull up, the rudder is jammed."

The rudder.

Excuse me?

The rudder?

I will believe giant robots ransacking New York, I will believe a Captain in the British Air Force with an eyepatch (depth perception; not as important as you might think in the Air Force) but I will not believe a pilot who cannot properly identify the parts of his airplane. (Nor will I believe that none of the members of the British Air Force on the other end of the transmission did not pipe up and say, "Can't pull up because of your rudder? No, I imagine your rudder wouldn't be much help. Twat.")

Okay, so, let's have a brief lesson in the parts of an airplane, for those of you in the audience who wrote Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow.

I'm not saying that planes don't have rudders. Of course they have rudders. But so do boats. Generally, when a boat goes downwards, it's not because of anything that anyone on board did on purpose. Rudders control horizontal movement.

The elevator on the other hand, controls vertical movement. Like an elevator.

I realize that it would sound a bit silly to say, "I can't pull up, the elevator is jammed!" If you don't know the terminology, it might sound a bit silly to those members of the audience. "What elevator? He's got an elevator in there?" At the same time, you just sound like a great big ass when you make a movie heavily featuring airplanes and call the elevator the rudder.

Today's second lesson, kids: a rudder will not help you pull up. ...unless you are sideways, but even then, probably not.

(Oh, and since my bonus questions seem to be crashing and burning, NO MORE BONUSES FOR YOU! Way to kill my dream... sniffle...)