Some Geek's Movie Blog

Love Monkeys!

2004-12-05T16:48:00.000-07:00

Now that we've done with the carnage and the morbidity, I thought the next logical step would be to talk about those scenes of romantic...ness... Yes! It's time for the geek's favourite romantic scenes! It's also probably time for a disclaimer, since I have been known, on occassion, to read a little too much into the relationships between certain characters... (coughlegolasandaragorncough!) Moving on...

So, what immediately springs to the geek's mind when discussing those scenes of romantic tingliness? Well, really, we might as well call this "favourite Colin Firth scenes". Mr Firth has a monopoly on the industry. In Bridget Jones's Diary, the blue soup scene will forever make women world-wide heave a happy sigh -- yes, he loves us, just as we are. In Love Actually we were happy once again to see him in a wet shirt, but happier still to see him being the most kind, sweet man imaginable (the driving home scene is particularly good for Firth-warm-and-fuzziness). And, of course, no woman anywhere can withstand the look that Mr Darcy gives Elizabeth in Pride and Prejudice. The smile that will live forever in the hearts and minds of all of us not yet married to very attractive British men (but who absolutely will be someday, dammit).

Of course, if we're talking about romance and English celebrities, we would be remiss not to talk about the King of the Romantic Comedy; Hugh Grant. Whose high-point in the genre as far as I'm concerned is in Love Actually. Whether he's dancing around British Parliament like an idiot, or running door to door looking for the woman of his dreams and being forced to sing Christmas carols by evil munchkins, Hugh Grant always manages to be rather lovable, even when he's playing a bit of a prick.

But we can't let the English have all the glory! Ewan McGregor (who's Scottish, you see, which evens it out quite nicely) is perfect in Moulin Rouge. It had never occurred to me before Moulin Rogue, but I can say that after having seen it, I would rather like to be serenaded with a medley of popular love songs atop a giant elephant. All the same, as much as every woman would like to be serenaded (especially by Ewan McGregor), I think it was his grin that really won me over. Yes, perfectly lovely. (Though I'm still a stalwart fan of the Duke. Minus the more violent psychotic tendancies, of course.)

And then, of course, there are the forthcoming scenes of romanticness. As in the Lord of the Rings: the Return of the King, wherein, somehow, we're not sure how, David Wenham happens to look dashing and handsome and romantic, unnaturally large ears and all. He even GLOWS. This has somehow become my favourite part of the Extended Edition preview (well, besides Faramir and Pippin grinning at each other like idiots, but that's no great surprise) -- Eowyn and Faramir and their romantic glow. Lovely.

As always, there are a great many other scenes which I haven't mentioned for one reason or another. Peter and Wendy's fairy dance in Peter Pan comes immediately to mind, as does Aragorn and Arwen's reunion at the coronation in Return of the King. But, as always, I'm expecting you people to fill in the blanks for me. So, go to. :)

Why Can't We Be Friends?

2004-11-21T21:08:00.000-07:00

Well, I've finally had a chance to go and see a movie. Bridget Jones: the Edge of Reason, actually. At first I thought to myself, 'self, what a perfect opportunity to spend a few hours talking about how lovely Colin Firth is! Perfectly lovely.' but then I realized that if I were to spend a few hours talking about how lovely Colin Firth is, my prof has to, at the very least, skim this come semester's end, and he might not entirely appreciate a long diatribe about Colin Firth and his lovely wet shirts, and might then seek revenge upon me, and that would be no good.

So, then I thought to myself, 'self,' I thought, 'what else does Bridget Jones inspire us to talk about for a little while?' To which I replied, 'well, I could certainly complain about being single for a few hours at least.' But that presented the same problems. Also, as I hadn't been chucked in a Turkish prison, my singledom didn't seem to quite measure up to Bridget's problems.

Next I asked myself whether other people have such involved inner dialogue. I avoided the subject completely, though, and distracted myself by deciding that instead of talking about Bridget Jones: the Edge of Reason (which was a decent enough film -- more or less a rehash of the first picture with more naughty words thrown in for flavour), I've decided that the natural progression after talking about favourite actors, and then favourite death scenes, is to talk about favourite fight scenes.

And as it so happens, two of my favourite fight scenes happen to occur in Bridget Jones's Diary and in Bridget Jones: the Edge of Reason. Near everyone has likely seen the fight scene between Colin Firth and Hugh Grant in the first Bridget Jones film, which deserves mention just because It's Raining Men is playing in the background. Really superb stuff. As it happens, the fight scene is the only thing that really stands out to me as something they've improved from first to second movie; the fight scene in the second movie is absolutely brilliant. Watching Colin Firth and Hugh Grant nancing about and trying every now and then to kick one another will always make my day. Hugh Grant yelling, "you're pulling my hair!" will also live forever in my memory. Best of all is the music this time as well; I Believe In a Thing Called Love by the Darkness. Of course, the fact that Colin Firth ends up soaked in a fountain has nothing to do with my love for this fight scene. No.

The massive puppet vs puppet vs Tim Curry fight scene from the end of Muppet Treasure Island also deserves mention. Probably one of the coolest pirate battles of all time (okay, Jack Sparrow vs Captain Barbosa in Pirates of the Carribean might be SLIGHTLY cooler, but that's because they're not just pirates, they're ZOMBIE pirates, so it's really not quite fair), there are few things funnier than five or six muppets and Jim Hawkins all standing up to Tim Curry, all wearing the same puffy shirt.

Those few things happen to be nearly any fight scene you can possibly name from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. King Arthur's fight against the Black Knight
(Black Knight: "Have at you."
Arthur: "You are indeed brave, sir knight, but the fight is mine."
Black Knight: "Oh, had enough, eh?"
Arthur: "Look, you stupid bastard. You've got no arms left!"
Black Knight: "Yes I have."
Arthur: "Look!"
Black Knight: "...Just a flesh wound."),
King Arthur and his knights being bombarded by live stock (and keen insults) by the French, and the gallant slaughter of wedding guests by Sir Lancelot are all among the most epic battle scenes of this, or any other age.

Of course, there are other fight scenes worth mention (Marvin vs the bump in the road in Pulp Fiction; the man in black vs Fezzik, Inigo and Vizzini in the Princess Bride; 1900 vs Jelly Roll Morton in the Legend of 1900 (piano duels so count); Remus Lupin vs Sirius Black in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (hee!); Toad vs a pidgeon in X-Men; and any one of the battle scenes in the Lord of the Rings trilogy though, obviously, the last one does sort of overshadow all the others, doesn't it? But really, after discussing such cinematic achievements as the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch vs the monster of the cave ("What, behind the rabbit?" "No! It IS the rabbit!"), why even bother?

A Rather Sticky End

2004-11-14T23:02:00.000-07:00

This week, I’d like to beg a little indulgence as I once again stray from the usual heckling of my favourite films (I promise a return to such movie reviewery when I’ve a moment to watch a movie again... well, other than Labyrinth. You try and write a review of Labyrinth -- the urge to make David-Bowie’s-pants jokes is too strong for me to resist) and provide another episode of “What’s in the Geek’s Head This Week?”

So what is in the geek’s head this week? Aside from all those naked hobbits, of course. Well, this week, I’ve been ruminating on a particularly morbid subject: my favourite death scenes. I can make no assumptions this week as to the nature of the “favourite death scene” as it’s not something one often speaks of with their friends. “Yes! Remember when Hannibal Lector made Gary Oldman eat his own face? Wasn’t that just a kicker? Let’s all visualize it for a while.” Not so much.

Now I’m not sure if I’m just markedly ghoulish, but I do, in fact, have a few favourite death scenes. Perhaps we’ve all got a little catalogue of such movie moments that we don’t like to talk about for fear of being pegged a sociopath. More likely, I’m just weird. But it would be perfectly lovely if someone else would share their favourite death scenes... you know who you are, ahem.

Obviously, these will contain spoilers, so proceed with caution.

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Since roughly half the cast dies, this film provides many a chance for actors to dazzle us with their “augh, I’m dying and it really, really hurts” noises. From the delightful shot of the Fantom’s mask laying artistically in the snow, his hand stretched out towards in a gesture REEKING of smack-you-over-the-head-with-it symbolism, to waiting for Sean Connery’s hand to just pop out of that grave followed closely by a closing credit of The End?, this movie is rife with that kind of death that makes us all point and giggle. Possibly the best part, though, is the fact that the Invisible Man, despite being reduced to a smoking mass of charred flesh, does NOT die. Sean Connery is poked a little in the back and HE dies, but though the Invisible Man is practically ROASTED alive and spends a good minute or so TWITCHING on camera, he lives. Apparently Sean Connery is just a big wuss.

Oh, no, sorry. The best part is undoubtedly Stuart Townsend as Dorian Gray’s death. While I’m sure everyone in the theatre appreciated watching Stuart Townsend rot before our very eyes, most of us couldn’t help but think, “...maybe he should have closed his eyes.”

Dead Again. While I am relatively sure very few people have ever seen this Kenneth Branagh gem, it is worth mention (and worth seeing) if, for nothing else, than the single most creative death scene I’ve ever come across.

So we’re all on the same page, a brief synopsis from IMDB.com: “Mike Church is a Los Angeles private detective who specializes in finding missing persons. He takes on the case of a mystery woman, whom he calls Grace. She is suffering from amnesia and has no memories of her own. She keeps having nightmares involving the murder of a pianist, Margaret, at the hands of her husband, Roman Strauss in the late 1940s. In an attempt to solve the mystery of these nightmares, Church seeks the help of Madson who is an antiques dealer with the gift of hypnosis. The hypnosis sessions will soon begin to reveal some surprises.”

And now I’m going to ruin the film for you. While under hypnosis, Grace comes to believe that she is the reincarnation of Margaret Strauss, and for some reason I’m sure might have been perfectly logical at the time, or might have just been because all four characters are played by the same two actors, Grace comes to believe that Mike is the reincarnation of Roman. Grace, to keep the plot going as far as I could tell, believes that Mike, like Roman before him, is going to try and kill her. With a pair of scissors no less (that’s how Roman did it, you see). So, despite obviously having fallen in love with him (which I suppose has nothing to do with anything), refuses to see him. At some point, Mike undergoes hypnosis to understand what’s going on and... GASP! Yes, as it turns out, HE’S the reincarnation of Margaret and SHE’S the reincarnation of Roman. He reveals this to the antiques dealer/hypnotist (yes, I did say this was a gem, didn’t I?) and then... dun dun dun! A PLOT TWIST! AS IT TURNS OUT, the antiques dealer is actually the son of the woman who worked as a maid in the home of Roman and Margaret Stauss. His mother was in love with Roman, but Roman was obviously preoccupied with Margaret, seeing as she was his wife and all. The antiques dealer/hypnotist (clearly long BEFORE he was an antiques dealer/hypnotist, as he was around six) is actually the one who stabbed Margaret so that Roman and his mother could be together. This is all revealed to Mike (the detective, you’ll recall) by the mother. Still with me? Mike, naturally, is concerned and goes to find Grace. Cut to Grace’s apartment, which is AWESOME, as it’s filled with sculptures of scissors (very subtle). Hundreds of them, tiny scissors and gigantic five-feet high scissors, scissor mobiles and other such scissor memorabilia. So, the antiques dealer/hypnotist, having decided that... um... Grace knows too much? That the reincarnation of Roman deserves to die? I honestly wish I could tell you. But it’s all forgotten in the face of one of the best death scenes of all time. The antiques dealer breaks into Grace’s apartment, followed closely by Mike, a tangle ensues, after much dramatic punching and attempted stabbings, Mike seemingly subdues the antiques dealer... BUT THEN the antiques dealer suddenly regains consciousness and leaps towards them, scissors outstretched, maniacal scream ushering from his lips and... well, Mike and Grace move a little to the left and the antiques dealer leaps directly onto a pair of giant scissors.

I wish I could make up things like that.

And now we come, finally, to my favourite death scene of all time... Dungeons and Dragons. I’m not sure I even need to say anything. Anyone who’s seen the movie knows precisely what I’m talkig about. There’s nothing funnier than watching Snell’s broken body get pitched off the cliff, Ridley fall to his knees in such melodramatic fashion that it is utterly mindboggling that the director didn’t stop and say, “hmmm, was that too much?”, and scream “NOOOOOO!!!!”... and then rewinding it (it’s just as funny in reverse!) and watching it again. Pure movie magic.

So I think that’s quite enough morbidity for one week. Though I’m certain it will be mentioned that I’ve managed to completely avoid the subject of death scenes with any actual meaning. The truth is, however, that I’d never want to ruin those sorts of death scenes for anyone. There are those death scenes that are very meaningful, of course, and I think my Lord-of-the-Rings-going friends have suffered enough at my sniffly hands (though it must be said that I am far outstripped in the sniffling by a certain Lord-of-the-Rings-going friend who shall remain nameless), that I hardly think my blog readers need to be subjected to any of it.

As always, feel free to leave comments about your own experiences with movie characters kicking the bucket. We all know we’ve pointed and laughed at these sorts of things at one time or another. You can admit it.

A Propensity Towards Partiality

2004-11-07T19:32:00.000-07:00

As this week once again finds me in want of the proper time and energy to write anything posessed of even the remotest hint of wit (well, that and since my dear readers have all gone into hiding, I feel much more comfortable with being terribly amusing to me and me alone), instead of finding yourselves with the sarcastic talk of films we've all come to love, I instead intend to provide you with random musings on that most strange of beasts, the "favourite actor".

What is the "favourite actor"? Certainly, this is a thorny question. Asking anyone of the female persuasion warrents the answer not be entirely trusted. While I'm sure most of us would very much like to give you an answer based entirely upon the acting talent posessed of our "favourite actor", this is simply not possible. Even we impartial movie critics (ahem) cannot help but be swayed by the occassional British accent, lovely hazel eyes, or those "come shag me" looks certain British celebrities with hazel eyes keep giving us through the screen. Ahem.

In fact, generally, in our accumulation of "favourite actors" you will find that "one of these things is not like the others" -- in an effort to even out our little clutch of celebrities, we attempt to find one actor without the British accent and the lovely hazel eyes to prove that thespian talents have certainly not been overlooked in the face of... well, lovely hazel eyes.

In my particular case, John Cleese, John Hurt, and sometimes Nicholas Cage (who has earned himself a very rare spot in my assemblage, being an American, through such films as Adaptation and Matchstick Men) occupy this spot. I find none of them particularly attractive, but all three are prone to make me giggle. I also thought that Cleese as Tim, the Enchanter in Monty Python and the Holy Grail was first rate acting.

These "substitutions" are often especially easy to pick out, as they do not follow the theme presented. Most women, girls, ladies and otherwise female personages have distinct theme running through their lovely clump of gentlemen, or so is my experience. Sometimes, there are two or three themes. Take, for example, the mention I made that Nicholas Cage's presence on my list is somewhat thematically incorrect, as he is not British. This is one of the most simple examples, and sometimes themes can be very detailed. Ie, British, over fourty, with hazel or possibly green eyes, who have (at one time or another) worn a wig of some kind. Very, very specific. So, when you find a British actor over fourty who has worn a wig but has blue or brown eyes, you are entitled to be suspicious that that's the substitute.

This is not to say that our "favourite actors" are decided upon hazel eyes alone. But it is, as I have said, a thorny subject, as (I believe five paragraphs is enough -- let's finally get to the point, shall we?) what makes an actor your "favourite"? While perhaps it would be much more fair to base this on talent alone, well... what is talent? Do awards earned decide who has the most talent? Salary? Box-office draw? In the end, what these all come down to (and what all "favourites" come down to) is enjoyment.

If you enjoy potatoes, then potatoes are your favourite food. It's not because potatoes are a culinary masterpiece, or that they've won numerous awards from French people and other persons who take food very seriously, or that they're particularly good for you. Potatoes are my favourite food because I enjoy the taste.

In the same way, my "favourite actors" are my favourites because I enjoy watching them. Do I enjoy watching them because they're British and have lovely hazel eyes? Yes. But do I also enjoy them because they're really spectacular talents? Well, sometimes.

So, I suppose my point is, British people are prettier and are better actors than everyone else. Yes, that should do.

(Incidentally, my favourite actors are Tim Roth, Gary Oldman (yes, DESPITE his blue eyes, I can forgive him that), Alan Rickman, John Cleese, John Hurt, Nicholas Cage, and, though neither of them are over fourty, and though Dom has blue/grey eyes, I can forgive them both, because they are delightfully short and one of them wears a kilt, Billy Boyd and Dominic Monaghan.

Also, everyone seems to love these "what's your favourite" sorts of things, so, as always, feel free to tell me who're your favourite actors and why. Hurrah!)

The Movie Does the Talking: Adaptation

2004-10-29T19:49:00.000-06:00

Well, as I've got a rather busy weekend ahead of me (very spooky term projects and horrifying research papers! How very Hallowe'en-y!), I've decided just to let the film do the talking. So here are some of my favourite quotes from Charlie (and Donald, hee!) Kaufman's Adaptation.

(Which, incidentally, is my third favourite movie of all time -- I'm sure you were all burning with curiousity. My favourite movie of all time being Muppet Treasure Island, followed closely by Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead. The Lord of the Rings trilogy and the Harry Potter series are just impossible to categorize by such goofy means, and so rise above any favouritism I could express.)

Before we get to the quotes, a synopsis:

From IMDB.com: "Frequently cynical screenwriter Charlie Kaufman (played by Nicholas Cage) has just taken on a new assignment. That is, to adapt writer Susan Orlean's "The Orchid Thief" into a screenplay, all of it based on the life of the eccentric John Laroche, an exotic plant collector based out of Florida. While his easygoing twin brother Donald, is writing scripts with ease, Charlie finds himself on a perpetual struggle that never seems to end."

(So, not only is this movie brilliant and funny in it's own right, it's brilliant and funny because it's a screenplay about a screenwriter trying to write a screenplay. It's also brilliant and funny because Donald is often reading bits and pieces of a sort of "Screenplays for Dummies" handbook he's using to write his first screenplay, and the movie itself goes to great lengths to completely disregard everything Donald reads immediately after he reads it. Charlie Kaufman (the screenwriter, not the main character in this case -- confusing...) lays out the road map for us, and then makes a great point of completely ignoring it. Completely brilliant. And funny. Hee.)

(Just one more aside and then I'm done: yes, this will be rather spoilery. And if I could have, I would likely have included two thirds of the movie, so I've tried to be as selective as I'm able, and just chose bits which were particularly funny or poigniant to me -- as a result, a lot of the stuff I'm posting is Donald and Charlie talking about screenplays, which is likely because I (try to) write screenplays myself, so this sort of thing really strikes me. This isn't to say that the John Laroche/Susan Orleane thread of the movie isn't as wonderful or as funny. In short, this is just what I like about the movie. See it yourself -- there's much more than I could ever post.)

And now (finally, I know), the quotes.

DONALD

Yeah.  Anyway.  I pitched mom my screenplay --

CHARLIE

Don't say "pitch".

DONALD

Sorry.  Anyway, she loved my... telling of my story to her.  She said it's "Silence of the Lambs" meets "Psycho."

CHARLIE

Hey, maybe you and mom could collaborate.  I hear she's really good with structure.

DONALD

You think you're so superior, Charles.  Well, I'm really gonna write this.  And you'll see.  And, and... you suck, okay?

-----

DONALD

Look, you wanna hear my pitch, or what? [...] Hey, thanks a lot, man.  Cool. [...] Okay, there's this serial killer, right --

Charlie groans, lies down, stares at the ceiling.

DONALD (CONT'D)

No, wait.  See, he's being hunted by a cop.  And he's taunting the cop, right?  Sending clues who his next victim is.  He's already holding her hostage in his creepy basement.  So the cop gets obsessed with figuring out her identity, and in the process he falls in love with her.  Even though he's never even met her.  She becomes, like, the unattainable, like the Holy Grail.

CHARLIE

It's a little obvious, don't you think?

DONALD

Okay, but there's a twist.  See, we find out the killer suffers from multiple personality disorder.  Okay?  See, he's really also the cop and the girl.  All of them are him!  Isn't that fucked-up?

Donald waits, proud.

CHARLIE

The only idea more overused than serial killers, is multiple personality.  On top of that you explore the notion that cop and criminal are really two aspects of the same person.  See every cop movie ever made for examples of this.

DONALD

Mom called it psychologically taut.

-----

CHARLIE

To begin...  To begin...  How to start?  I'm hungry.  I should get coffee.  Coffee would help me think.  Maybe I should write something first, then reward myself with coffee.  Coffee and a muffin.  So I need to establish the themes.  Maybe a banana nut.  That's a good muffin.

-----

DONALD

Anyway, listen, I meant to ask you, I need a cool way to kill people.  Don't worry!  For my script!  Ha ha!

CHARLIE

I really don't write that kind of stuff.

DONALD

Oh, man, please.  You're the genius.

Charlie stares at Donald, rubs his eyes, sighs.

CHARLIE

Here you go.  The killer's a literature professor.  He cuts off little chunks of his victim's bodies until they die.  He calls himself "The Deconstructionist."

DONALD

That's kinda good.  I like that.

CHARLIE

See, I was kidding, Donald.

DONALD

Oh, okay.  Sorry.  You got me!  Ha-ha.  Do you mind if I use it, though?

-----

DONALD

Charles, I'm putting a song in.  Like when characters sing pop songs in their pajamas and dance around.  I thought it might be a nice way to break the tension.  So, try to think of a song about multiple personality.  Hey, where you going?

-----

DONALD

I'm putting in a chase sequence now.  The killer flees on horseback with the girl.  The cop is after them on a motorcycle.  It's like a battle between motors and horses.  Like technology versus horses.

-----

DONALD

Also, I wanted to thank you for your idea.  It was very helpful.  I changed it a little.  Now the killer cuts off body pieces and makes the victims eat them.  It's, like, Caroline has this great tattoo of a snake swallowing it's tail and --

CHARLIE

Ourobouros.

DONALD

I don't know what that means.

CHARLIE

The snake is called Ourobouros.

DONALD

I don't think so.  But, anyway, it's cool for my killer to have this modus operandi.  Because at the end when he forces the woman, who's really him, to eat herself, he's also eating himself to death.

-----

CHARLIE

What if a writer is attempting to create a story where nothing much happens, where people don't change, they don't have any epiphanies.  They struggle and are frustrated and nothing is resolved.  More a reflection of the real world --

MCKEE

The real world?  The real fucking world?  First of all, if you write a screenplay without conflict or crisis, you'll bore your audience to tears.  Secondly: Nothing happens in the world?  Are you out of your fucking mind?  People are murdered every day!  There's genocide and war and corruption!  Every fucking day somewhere in the world somebody sacrifices his life to save someone else!  Every fucking day someone somewhere makes a conscious decision to destroy someone else!  People find love!  People lose it, for Christ's sake!  A child watches her mother beaten to death on the steps of a church!  Someone goes hungry!  Somebody else betrays his best friend for a woman!  If you can't find that stuff in life, then you, my friend, don't know much about life!  And why the fuck are you taking up my precious two hours with your movie?  I don't have any use for it!  I don't have any bloody use for it!

CHARLIE

Okay, thanks.

-----

ORLEAN

[just a bit toasted now] I wish I were an ant.  They're very shiny.

LAROCHE

You're shinier than any ant, darlin'.

ORLEAN

That's the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me.

-----

CHARLIE

I wasted [my life].  I admire you, Donald, y'know?  I spent my whole life paralyzed worrying what people think of me and you -- you're oblivious.

DONALD

I'm not oblivious.

CHARLIE

No, you don't understand.  I say that as a compliment.  I really do.

(beat)

There was this time in high school.  I was watching you out the library window.  You were talking to Sarah Marsh.

DONALD

Oh, God.  I was so in love with her.

CHARLIE

I know.  And you were flirting with her. And she was really sweet to you.

DONALD

I remember that.

CHARLIE

Then when you walked away, she started making fun of you with Kim Canetti.  It was like they were laughing at me.  You didn't know at all.  You seemed so happy.

DONALD

I knew.  I heard them.

CHARLIE

How come you looked so happy?

DONALD

I loved Sarah, Charles.  It was mine, that love.  I owned it.  Even Sarah didn't have the right to take it away.  I can love whoever I want.

CHARLIE

She thought you were pathetic.

DONALD

That was her business, not mine.  You are what you love, not what loves you.  That's what I decided a long time ago.

-----

See? Definitely the third best movie of all time. Yup.

132 Minutes You'll Never Get Back: Van Helsing

2004-10-23T17:28:00.000-06:00

When one sits down to write a review on Van Helsing, one finds themselves pausing often. When there are this many jokes to make, it's hard to decide where to start. I think we can start by giggling at Hugh Jackman's hair. Or Richard Roxburgh's hair. Or David Wenham's hair. Yup.

The problem with Van Helsing is that it starts out so remarkably well. The first chunk of the movie is done in black and white, and is a brilliant send off of those old monster movies, complete with, "GOOD LORD! I would kill myself before helping in such a task!" type lines. (To which Dracula replies, "Fell free. I don't actually need you anymore.", instantly endearing him to us.) There are villagers with pitchforks and torches, and the kind of laboratory we expect of Victor Frankenstein, and even a flaming windmill. This is done so perfectly, with just the right blend of old-style camp and modern day effects that we instantly expect this of the rest of the movie.

And then the colour returns and it becomes a flashy, look-what-we-can-do-with-a-computer-ma! special effects extravaganza. Please do not misread: the special effects are very cool, and I went into the movie expecting it to be a special effects movie. It's just that they gave me such a great first scene that my expectations were immediately elevated, and then cruelly dashed.

The Dracula who fit perfectly into the opening scene (I've heard the term "gay hairdresser from Prague" bandied about) seems sadly out of place in the rest of the film. With bipolar swings from rage to self-satisfaction in split seconds (gnawing happily on the scenery the whole time), Dracula is a constant reminder of how much fun the movie could have been if everyone else took it a little less seriously. He undeniably gets some of the best lines in the film, in particular his rant about being hollow (super funny not only because of the dialog itself, but also because of the accent. Love the accent) and his request to Van Helsing at one point to "be friends" (why can't all villians be that nice?).

Everyone else seems entirely sure that they are super cool. This might have worked out, but for a few things. Dracula's servants appear to be evil Oompa Loompas. Kate Beckinsale's pants are really distracting. And you can't help but get the feeling that Dracula's always hitting on Van Helsing just a little. There are other things that are just major plot holes, and though you know you should be paying attention to the movie, you just can't help but wonder why Van Helsing would take his gloves OFF to reach into the icky vampire egg sack (the words "vampire egg sack" alone are enough to make me want to wear several pairs of gloves).

The whole movie isn't a bust, though. Richard Roxburgh is, as I've said, EXCELLENT as Dracula (though, admittedly, I've been a bit biased about Richard Roxburgh since Moulin Rouge), David Wenham is perfectly adorable as Carl (and gets lines almost as good as Richard Roxburgh does, and has hair almost as funny), and the effects really are neat. The werewolf transformations are among my favourites (at one point one character actually climbs up the wall (especially cool because he has his back to it) as he rips his skin off to reveal patches of fur beneath. -- COOL!!!), and if Dracula's brides weren't so mindbogglingly annoying, they would be really fantastic too (they look fantastic anyway -- a really interesting take on vampires).

If you can get past some of the massive plot holes (as in most movies, only one thing can destroy Dracula -- that's fine. But there's only one thing that Dracula can do to counteract the one thing that can destroy him. Like most villians, Dracula seems to think that keeping the only thing that can save him from his doom on the far side of his castle, protected by easily defeated traps is more sensible than just keeping the thing on his person.) then it's a fairly good action flick. If you can turn off your brain for a couple of hours, then you can certainly enjoy the silly accent extravaganza that is Van Helsing.

(Also, just in case I haven't made this clear, Dracula is AWESOME. Seriously.)

-----

If you really want to have fun watching Van Helsing, there are a few drinking games out there (this particular one makes some excellent points both about the finer points of werewolf hunting, and the flaws in Dracula's plans (flaws! that's not possible!)).

Even better, if you haven't the time to watch the movie, the immensely funny Cleolinda has written the immensely funny Van Helsing in Fifteen Minutes. A quick warning to the munchkins in the audience: she is more vulgar than I am, but she's also funnier than I am, so it balances out. She also made very funny LiveJournal icons, should you be interested in that sort of thing.

Geek on Film: Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow

2004-10-17T17:48:00.000-06:00

If there's anything I like more than zombies, it's giant robots capable of mass destruction. And if there's anything I like more than giant robots capable of mass destruction, then it's giant robots capable of mass destruction destroying things. In mass quantities. WOO!

But enough about me. Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow, henceforth Sky Captain so that my wrists don't burst into flames before I finish this review, is, of course, a movie featuring giant robots of mass destruction, and Jude Law.

Watching the trailer (so very very many times -- dear Hollywood: please stop pushing release dates back, thanks) it seemed to me fairly likely that Sky Captain was sadly going to be one of those (ever more frequent) movies that drowns in it's own hype. I kept hearing things like, "it looks like the Rocketeer meets Star Wars!" or "if Indiana Jones and Star Wars had a baby, it would be this film!". Alright, a) who saw the Rocketeer anyway, and b) movies can't have babies. And also c) Star Wars?! [insert terribly witty joke re: Gywenth Paltrow and Chewbacca here.] There we go.

It was also bound to have problems because in this modern movie age, we are used to film makers trying to make things seem as real as possible. We have been spoiled by movies like the Lord of the Rings, in which characters like Gollum became so belivable that you stopped thinking, "wow, what an amazing advance in technology" and were able to spend your time instead thinking, "wow, his eyes are almost as big as Elijah Wood's". In the 60s when the original Batman movie starring Adam West was released, that foam-rubber shark was COOL. The Penguin's submarine was AWESOME. Or, at the very least, people were willing to make a little more effort to believe in these things, so they filled in the blanks. In this day in age, bitter and jaded as we are, we will happily snort at anything that doesn't seem flawless. So when they stick a fishbowl on Angelina Jolie's head, dunk her underwater and try to tell us it's cool, a lot of people aren't going to get on board for that. Which is really sad, because if they could, they'd end up with a pretty enjoyable movie experience.

Sky Captain is great for a lot of reasons. It's fun to watch a movie that you know, unconditionally, will end with the good guy smiling at the camera, CG sparkle added to his smile, girl of his dreams on his arm, and the world safe once again. This is especially fun because this means that they can put our dashing hero into all sorts of unlikely situations, and we will accept pretty much whatever solution comes along, because we know how the film has to end. This may sound terrible, but it's actually really refreshing. It's really like watching the original Batman. Running out of air? Get out that container of Bat-Oxygen, Robin! No way past the evil robot sentinels? Use that ray-gun-of-death Dex inexplicably started the movie with, and never explains, Sky Captain! Hurrah! Sky Captain wins again!

But there's also a downside to this. The girl of Cap's dreams is inevitably obnoxious, and ends up doing remarkably stupid things, which never seem to work out as they should. If she stands in the middle of the street trying to get a photograph of the giant robots menacing the city, logic would dictate that she be crushed by these giant robots as penance for unforgivable stupidity. No such luck. As such, I suggest you steer impressionable children away from this movie -- I wouldn't want my cousins thinking they can get away from such situations unscathed. Remember kids: stupidity + giant robots = SQUISHY DEATH.

It's also worth mention (though everyone knows) that the entire movie was done against a blue screen. I mention this not because you can tell, but because you will probably spend half the movie trying to see if you can tell. To my fairly untrained eye, though, everything looked really spectacular. The washed-out colours and the soft focus really captured the mood of the era. Of course (if IMDB trivia is right, that is), the entire thing was done with Adobe After Effects, and, having sold my soul to Adobe, I am required to say such things.

All in all, Sky Captain is excellent for what it is. It was perfectly cast -- none of the actors takes themselves too seriously, so the illusion of the film remains intact throughout, amdist evil robots, a very large rocket ship, Sir Laurence Olivier's giant floating head, and what ends up being a very very silly (but enjoyably so) plot. If you go in expecting the lovechild of Indiana Jones and Star Wars you likely be disappointed, but if you're prepared for the camp (and prepared to give in to the camp) you will thoroughly enjoy it.

---------------

All right, so that was the end of the review. You've no obligation to read any further. But as a fan of movies, and as the daughter of an aviation enthusiast (to put it mildly), there are a few things I feel I must say, or I may have an aneurism.

At a certain point during the film, the part of Sky Captain's plane that controls ascension and descension becomes jammed. Cap is then heard to proclaim, "I can't pull up, the rudder is jammed."

The rudder.

Excuse me?

The rudder?

I will believe giant robots ransacking New York, I will believe a Captain in the British Air Force with an eyepatch (depth perception; not as important as you might think in the Air Force) but I will not believe a pilot who cannot properly identify the parts of his airplane. (Nor will I believe that none of the members of the British Air Force on the other end of the transmission did not pipe up and say, "Can't pull up because of your rudder? No, I imagine your rudder wouldn't be much help. Twat.")

Okay, so, let's have a brief lesson in the parts of an airplane, for those of you in the audience who wrote Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow.

I'm not saying that planes don't have rudders. Of course they have rudders. But so do boats. Generally, when a boat goes downwards, it's not because of anything that anyone on board did on purpose. Rudders control horizontal movement.

The elevator on the other hand, controls vertical movement. Like an elevator.

I realize that it would sound a bit silly to say, "I can't pull up, the elevator is jammed!" If you don't know the terminology, it might sound a bit silly to those members of the audience. "What elevator? He's got an elevator in there?" At the same time, you just sound like a great big ass when you make a movie heavily featuring airplanes and call the elevator the rudder.

Today's second lesson, kids: a rudder will not help you pull up. ...unless you are sideways, but even then, probably not.

(Oh, and since my bonus questions seem to be crashing and burning, NO MORE BONUSES FOR YOU! Way to kill my dream... sniffle...)

Geek on Film: Shaun of the Dead

2004-10-08T14:56:00.000-06:00

From the nation that taught us that the French are jerks (kidding, of course), that anyone who owns pigs is better left alone, and that Hugh Grant can't dance, comes Shaun of the Dead. A romantic comedy. With zombies.

It must be said before I go any further, that I am not an aficionado of the zombie movie. I haven't seen Dawn of the Dead (either of them) or Day of the Dead or Night of the Living Dead. I've pretty much shied away from anything with "of the Dead" in the title. As such, there are probably quite a lot of zombie jokes that were lost on me. (A priest, a rabbi and a zombie are out golfing one day...)

Having clarified my experience with the genre, I feel I can go on to say that despite having missed all the "of the Dead"'s, I still adored this movie. I'm sure a veteran of the genre would have even more to enjoy, but despite my inexperience I never felt as though there were anything I was missing. Funny is funny, zombies or not.

And the movie is terribly funny. There's an especially good scene (you can see bits of it in the trailer) involving Shaun, Ed, a zombie, and Shaun's record collection. There are also some really excellent scenes of Shaun walking down to the corner store to get breakfast; once pre-zombies and once mid-zombies. Terribly, terribly funny stuff.

It's because the movie is so funny that it comes as something of a shock that it has such a strong emotional core. It's a zombie movie, so you're well aware right off that not everyone is going to make it out alive, you're prepared for that. I wasn't prepared, however, for the heart-felt monologues that managed to be touching, even as zombie silhouettes flopped menacingly against windows in the background. I wasn't prepared for the friendships and the sacrifices that I could really believe, and honestly relate to. (Not that I've ever been attacked by zombies, but I have felt the urge to hit people with a cricket bat, so there you go.) The movie really is about people, and their decision to survive. Not just survive the zombie attack, but survive life, overcome complacency, do something.

But this next part is very important. I think that every zombie movie review should have a gore-o-meter, just so you know whether or not to avoid eating before hand. Shaun of the Dead is, for the most part, not all that shocking. A few gaping neck wounds, some zombie love-bites, nothing to worry about. There is precisely one point in the movie that made me feel like heaving into my popcorn bag. Luckily, you should be able to see it coming. So unless you're a fan of entrail-scooping, you'll likely only find yourself feeling ill a grand total of once in an hour and a half. (If you are a fan of entrail-scooping, you'll probably feel a little ripped off. I apologize.)

So there you have it, Shaun of the Dead. An A+ for fans of British romantic-comedies, zombie movies, and a minimum of entrail-scooping! If you're even the least bit curious about it, go and see it, it's worth your $10.95.

---------------

Fill-in-the-Blank Action Hero

(Don't mind the title, I just couldn't think of anything cheesier. :))

In the spirit of zombie movies, here is your first ever Fill-in-the-Blank Action Hero question.

In the event of a zombie attack, who would you want to come to your rescue, and why?

So, this can be any movie character, or if you've got a really good reason for Harrison Ford to get off the big pile of money I'm sure he sleeps on to come rescue you, go to. Bonus points will be awarded for creative narratives.

Good choices probably include Bruce Campbell, Simon Pegg, or Milla Jovovich. Bad choices probably include... you know... those extras, who always end up getting eaten. Ahem.

Coming Soon

2004-09-28T18:17:00.000-06:00

As movie geeks, we all know the joy and the sorrow of movie trailers. They allow us a brief glimpse into what could possibly be one the most enjoyable two hours in the dark we'll have in the next year (I'm talking to you, fellow movie loving virgins). But they also inflict such pain. "Coming soon? What does 'soon' mean? WHAT DOES 'SOON' MEAN, GEORGE LUCAS?! WHAT?!" Ahem.

So in this post, I bring you the upcoming movies that bring me the most squirmy joy right now. Who knows, maybe something will pique your interest too.

-----

Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events

(trailers)

At last a holiday movie without all that pesky hope and joy.

For those of you not engaged in such sophisticated literary circles, A Series of Unfortunate Events is a series of books, funnily enough, by Lemony Snicket. The books, essentially, are about three orphans and all of the horrible things that happen to them, especially at the hands of their distant relative, Count Olaf.

Count Olaf (actor, humanitarian, heartthrob, and ultimate dad!), as the trailer suggests, is in the capable hands of Jim Carrey. As if this weren't enough reason to see the film (really, just watch the trailer, he's positively brilliant), the set design is... well, it's more than a Lemony Snicket fan could hope for.

I suspect having read the books won't be a prerequisite to enjoying the film, but they're really worth a read if you can find a moment. Count Olaf is lovely and it's got more unhappy orphans than you can shake a stick at! Hurrah!

Canadian Release Date: December 17th, 2004

-----

MirrorMask

From the mind of Neil Gaiman (that British chap who does all those Sandman comics, and books like Neverwhere and American Gods) comes a movie who's trailer is so mindbogglingly gorgeous, I couldn't begin to describe it.

From IMDB.com: "MirrorMask centers on Helena, a 15 year old girl in a family of circus entertainers, who often wishes she could run off and join real life. After a fight with her parents about her future plans, her mother falls quite ill and Helena is convinced that it is all her fault. On the eve of her mother's major surgery, she dreams that she is in a strange world with two opposing queens, bizarre creatures, and masked inhabitants. All is not well in this new world - the white queen has fallen ill and can only be restored by the MirrorMask, and it's up to Helena to find it. But as her adventures continue, she begins to wonder whether she's in a dream, or something far more sinister."

Unfortunately, said trailer doesn't appear to be online. The official site is woefully scant at this point in time, but the trailer really is so terribly neat that I couldn't help but give everyone a head's up -- watch out for this one!

(If you're really curious about the film, the trailer comes on Jim Henson's the Storyteller: Greek Myths, which is also really lovely (though not quite as good as Jim Henson's the Storyteller.))

Canadian Release Date: January 2005 (?)

-----

the Last Unicorn

I feel this is worth posting because I know every Last Unicorn fan (and there are quite of lot of us out there, actually) is both awed and horrified by the idea of a live-action Last Unicorn film.

So many questions. What will the unicorn look like? How could they possibly find anyone beautiful enough to play the Lady Amalthea? And JONATHAN RHYS-MEYERS?!?!?!?

(Please do not misread, I've been a fan of Mr Rhys-Meyers since Gormenghast, but I never pictured Schmendrick (my hero) looking quite that... evil. Jonathan Rhys-Meyers is quite like Tim Roth in that sense. Even when he's smiling cheerfully, you're reasonably sure it's because he just got finished kicking a baby or something.)

So, let's all cross our fingers!

Canadian Release Date: Christmas 2006

-----

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

In other casting news that leads Sara to believe the Apocalypse is soon at hand...

Ralph Fiennes is set to play Voldemort.

SJSDHASHFH!!!!

And that's all I have to say about that.

(Also worth mention is the return of everyone's favourite dad: Lucius Malfoy! Everyone kick your house-elf in celebration! HURRAH!)

(And then, of course, there's Snape. :) (I liked the part where he stopped moving!))

Canadian Release Date: November 18, 2005

-----

the Brothers Grimm

From IMDB.com: "Folklore collectors and con artists, Jake and Will Grimm, travel from village to village pretending to protect townsfolk from enchanted creatures and performing exorcisms. They are put to the test, however, when they encounter a real magical curse in a haunted forest with real magical beings, requiring genuine courage."

And the movie's written and directed by Terry Gilliam. Dude. That's the Monty Python guy.

If that's not enough reason, check out Matt Damon's hair. Right on.

Canadian Release Date: November 23, 2005

-----

So, here's the inevitable question: what movies are you looking forward to? Whether it's coming out in a month, a year, or five years, we'll share your pain. If you can, link to a trailer, let us know why you're looking forward to it, try and find an official site or a synopsis if you can. Or just drop some names. You guys know the drill by now.

The Best Movies You’ve (Probably) Never Seen: the Legend of 1900

2004-09-23T20:46:00.000-06:00

And now, for my very first review, I proudly present to you: the Legend of 1900, or La Leggenda del pianista sull’oceano if you’re Spanish, in which case you’ll likely be disappointed, as the rest of this review is not in Spanish.

The Legend of 1900 features Tim Roth as a piano virtuoso who has spent his entire life aboard a steamship, having been abandoned by his parents onboard said steamship. (And where do you think he was abandoned? That’s right. On top of the piano. Ooooh. Foreshadowing!) Found by one of the stokers aboard the steamship (who christens the unfortunate boy “Danny Boodman T.D. Lemon Nineteen Hundred” setting up for scenes of “Lemon” getting righteously melvined by the rest of the ship’s inhabitants that sadly must have ended up on the cutting room floor), 1900 is raised in the bowels of the ship, learning to be idealistic and British, so that he can grow up to be Tim Roth.

The story really begins when, having lost his father in a tragic gigantic-flying-hook-of-death accident (and if you really didn’t see it coming, even after all the “look at the father-and-son bonding, yes, that man sure is all that boy has in the world and it would surely crush him emotionally and psychologically to lose that man” scenes, then I do sincerely apologize), 1900 ventures above deck and discovers... wait for it... no, it’s not an iceburg. It’s... a piano! He then uses all the knowledge he apparently osmosed, having been abandoned on the piano so many years ago as you’ll recall, to spontaneously become the most fabulous piano player on land and sea!

If you can stomach the slight aftertaste of fromage, this movie is undeniably cute. With scenes like the one in which 1900 and his best friend Max (played admirably by Pruitt Taylor Vince) spin around the ship’s ballroom on a wheeled piano which 1900, of course, plays, you either learn to suspend your disbelief early and appreciate the movie for what it is; a light-hearted musical drama, or you turn the film off. (Though I do encourage you to at least watch the “piano duel” scene between 1900 and Jelly Roll Morton (played by Clarence Williams III) which is very likely the best scene in the entire film.)

The central theme of the movie, the struggle for identity and individuality, is hinted at throughout the movie (Max often reflects in his voice over, that since 1900 was born aboard a ship, he never officially existed anyway), but is all but spelled out in 1900’s monologue to Max near the end of the film, explaining to him why he never left the ship despite trying once before, despite the ship falling into disrepair, and despite that the ship is now going to be destroyed (and you thought this movie wouldn’t have explosions).

All that city. You just couldn’t see an end to it. ...The end? ...Please? ...Will you please just show me where it ends? ...It was all very fine on that gangway. And I was grand too. In my overcoat. I cut quite a figure. And I was getting off. Guaranteed. That wasn’t the problem. ...It wasn’t what I saw that stopped me, Max. It was what I didn’t see. Can you understand that? It was what I didn’t see. In all that sprawling city there was everything except an end. ...There was no end. ...What I did not see was where the whole thing came to an end. ...The end of the world. Hmm. ...Take a piano, hm? Keys begin, keys end. You know there are 88 of them, nobody can tell you any differently. They are not infinite. You are infinite. And on those keys, the music that you can make is infinite. I know that. That I can live by. But you get me up on that gangway and you roll out in front of me a keyboard of millions of keys, millions and billions of keys that never end, and that’s the truth, Max, that they never end. That keyboard is infinite. And if that keyboard is infinite then on that keyboard there is no music that you can play. You’re sitting on the wrong bench. That’s God’s piano. ...Christ, did you see the streets, just the streets, there were thousands of them. I mean, how do you do it down there? How do you choose just one? One woman. One house. One piece of land to call you own, one landscape to look at. One way to die. ...All that world just weighing down on you, and you don’t even know where it comes to an end. And aren’t you ever just scared of breaking apart at the thought of it? At the enormity of living in it? ...I was born on this ship. And the world passed me by... but 2000 people at a time. And there were wishes here. But never more than fit between prow and stern. You played out your happiness, but on a piano that was not infinite. I learned to live that way. ...Land? Land is a ship too big for me. ...It’s a woman too beautiful, it’s a voyage too long, perfume too strong, it’s music I don’t know how to make. I can never get off this ship. At best? I can step off my life. After all, I don’t exist for anyone.

Without making analogies about our personal voyages on the ship of life and it’s many meetings with the pirates of misfortune, and the cannibals of discontent, and, of course, the scurvy, the Legend of 1900 resonates because we’ve all been faced with ports of call too large for us. And so despite moments that often require some indulgence on the part of the viewer, the Legend of 1900 rewards our investment, and proves to be deeper than the fluff it first presents itself to be.

Having said all this, the only thing really wrong with the film is the wispy twelve-year-old French girl Tim Roth spontaneously (and inevitably) falls in love with. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go practice looking wispy, and twelve.

---------------

Bonus (ie, I’m trying to trick you into posting a comment! YAY!)

Who’s Line is it Anyway (or, Please Don’t Sue Me, I’m Just Not Very Original)
ROUND ONE!

Here’s the deal. I give you a quote. You give me the movie it was from, and the name of the character and the actor who said it. Whoever wins gets... a prize*!

* Prize may or may not be a kick in the teeth.

I’m just kidding. I’m actually looking into the possibility of giving a small prize to the person or persons with the highest score once this finishes in December. Now I’m not just tricking you into posting a comment, I’m bribing you! I should be in marketing. :)

So, here’s the first quote (worth 3 points):

Some days you just can't get rid of a bomb.

(For an extra 10 points, tell me how AWESOME my review was!)

...
...
...

Oh right. Totally kidding. Yeah.

the Inaugural Post, of course

2004-09-21T18:29:00.000-06:00

So first, we roll the opening credits:

Blog written and directed by some geek

Theme by some geek on a kazoo

Blog editing: some geek

Production design: some geek

Art direction: some geek

Second unit director: Tim Burton

Visual effects: some geek

Stunts: some geek's cat

Catering and craft services provided by some geek's mom

Executive producer: Harvey Weinstein

A Some Geek Blog

And now that you've some idea how cheesy this blog intends to be, we can move on.

Hullo! I'm some geek (you can also call me Sara, a less accurate descriptor, but also less of a mouthful), and this is my blog. I'm a communications student, and as part of one of the courses I'm taking this semester, I've made a blog (the one you're reading right now, in fact). This blog will eventually be filled with all manner of movie stuff, all with really cheesy titles too. However, since I am a communications student, I do not get off so lightly as other bloggers may. Every now and again I'll have to get my brain out of storage, and talk about movies not only as a form of entertainment, but also as a means of communication, and will have to discuss themes and messages and other such things.

But I promise to try and make it fun, with bright colours and dancing bunnies and that sort of thing, so that you learn, but you won't realize you're learning until afterwards, when you will feel used and cheated. But there won't be any outright learning, so don't worry!

This is a blog, so I can't stop anyone from posting their opinions, of course. And I wouldn't want to! I'm not even terribly concerned with whether you really support your opinions (like, for instance, it is my opinion that Ben Affleck is funny looking. My support for this argument is that he just is. And that's the truth), but I do ask that if you post here, you are ready to have your opinions giggled at. I expect there are loads of people who think my opinions giggle-worthy, and if you're one of them, please feel encouraged to tell me so. I will do you the same courtesy. However, it must be said that if you DO happen to support your opinion, it becomes much harder to giggle at without making yourself look like an ass. So keep that in mind.

(At the same time, let's all remember that this is really about a form of entertainment, so let's not take it too seriously. You're all allowed one death threat each, and then no more! So use it wisely!) (Just kidding. Don't threaten people on my blog or I will cut you, fool.)

So I suppose that about does it for this inaugural post. If anybody out there is reading this, why don't we get things started off lightly -- if you've a moment, post your three favourite movies of all time in the comments section. I'm not talking about those great movies that everyone is supposed to like (if anyone out there really and truly liked the English Patient, please do comment and tell me why... other than the bit where Colin Firth sings the coconuts song, of course. That I totally understand the appeal of), I mean the movies that you pull out to watch again and again for whatever reason. The ones that made you truly appreciate the coming of DVDs, because it meant you didn't have to buy any more VHS tapes, having worn out the first fifteen. If you're feeling really ambitious, also post why they're your favourite movies (also, none of that giggling I was talking about earlier is allowed at this point. Even if someone likes the English Patient.)

And, hey, while we're at it -- is there any particular characters anyone would really like to see in the Battle Royale feature? Please keep in mind this is not a guaranteed head-on-a-pike, as there will be a one in twenty or thirty chance that they'll come out alive. So be wary of nominating any Ben Affleck characters. (I'm just kidding, we'll totally pike them.)